Fifty minutes of standing. One of the things that's difficult is that I'm conscious of how much tension and stress I've allowed to build up in my body. I feel the first pings of chi in Tan tien, a kind of cool carbonated feeling for now. I hit stretches where my body feels suspended by magnetic energy and I know that this energy will grow and that my body will eventually surrender to it. I then I won't think of it as "the energy." I'll be the energy. I'll just be floating there in the energy.
But I'm not there yet because I got caught up in other things for a day, a month, a year.
I'm back now. This time I will religious record all the good.
But there is sacrifice in doing that. I can feel the writing going on in my brain. I can taste the anxiety of striving in my body. I really can literally taste it, a metalic buzzing feeling, kind of nauseating fear that wants the good feeling so desperately.
I need to be patient and stand and record and stand and record and just do that and see what happens.
But I feel more confident and strong than I have in a while. That's because I'm connected to the strength of the universe, I guess.
