Today I'm struggling with frustration, anger, disappointment with someone close to me. Someone who seems to have lost the will to take care of his body and mind.
It's a challenge to meditate because I haven't slept well. This week in JOYL1 we are focussing on the body, feeling present, noticing sensations, and as we always do, alternating with objectless meditation. For most of it, I was in the raw, rigid anger and despair I feel, and being with the belief that my happiness is dependent on whether or not he is happy.
And then for a moment, I was able to pull back and really feel as close to pure awareness. That silky, calm joy. I felt for a moment that I could be happy even when I was unhappy. I can be sad that he is making poor choices, but I can know that at the core of my being is a happiness that can not be wrecked by anything or anyone.
The closer I am to that realization, the closer I am to the insight that happiness is and will always be available to him too. The best I may be able to do is hope that he is able to find it.
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Giving Monkey Mind a Break
I'm going back to fundamentals in my meditation practice by redoing Tergar's Joy of Living 1.
Since starting, I've had a number of insights, but this morning I am excited about this one. That when I meditate I am simply giving the monkey mind a break.
Most of the day, despite so many years of meditating my jumpy problem solving, problem creating mind is still in control. When I meditate, I relax, much in the same way I relax after a job, or a challenging task. Monkey mind is exercising hard all day, meditation whether formal or informal at its simplest, and most effective level is a way of saying, okay Monkey here's a nice spot on the grass, for the next ten, twenty, thirty minutes, lets be a little more like lions and just hang out, feeling as we are, safe enough.
Since starting, I've had a number of insights, but this morning I am excited about this one. That when I meditate I am simply giving the monkey mind a break.
Most of the day, despite so many years of meditating my jumpy problem solving, problem creating mind is still in control. When I meditate, I relax, much in the same way I relax after a job, or a challenging task. Monkey mind is exercising hard all day, meditation whether formal or informal at its simplest, and most effective level is a way of saying, okay Monkey here's a nice spot on the grass, for the next ten, twenty, thirty minutes, lets be a little more like lions and just hang out, feeling as we are, safe enough.
Monday, January 15, 2018
Reconnecting with my mission
It's January, so a good time to re-visit my mission and put it somewhere where I can make it part of my daily planning.
My mission is to cultivate emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and financial wellbeing every day--for myself, for the people around me, and for the world I live in.
I do this first and foremost by grounding myself in awareness and recognizing and appreciating the basic goodness that exists in myself and everyone.
My first responsibility is towards nurturing and maintaining the joyful wisdom that emanates from simply being. In bringing this energy into the world I am best equipped to help liberate myself and others from useless suffering. I work to stay aware of and spread the fruits of absolute well-being.
My second responsibility is towards my son and supporting him in whatever way I can to cultivate his own well-being.
My final responsibility is my friends and colleagues, the country and the society that I have been born into.
My mission is to cultivate emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and financial wellbeing every day--for myself, for the people around me, and for the world I live in.
I do this first and foremost by grounding myself in awareness and recognizing and appreciating the basic goodness that exists in myself and everyone.
My first responsibility is towards nurturing and maintaining the joyful wisdom that emanates from simply being. In bringing this energy into the world I am best equipped to help liberate myself and others from useless suffering. I work to stay aware of and spread the fruits of absolute well-being.
My second responsibility is towards my son and supporting him in whatever way I can to cultivate his own well-being.
My final responsibility is my friends and colleagues, the country and the society that I have been born into.
Monday, January 1, 2018
Word of the year, gratitude.
Read a very interesting article in the New York Times about the impact of gratitude on self-control.
More important than grit, gratitude helps us to avoid temptation. It's easier to say no when you feel full.
I decided yesterday to make gratitude my word of the year. It's tough because my monkey mind prefers to believe that the only way I can have love, respect and connection is if I have those things that will make people love me. I can only have them if I want them, and if I stop wanting, where will my drive come from?
Well it could come from motivation, and it could come commitment.
Today I read these wonderful words from Tsoknyi Rinpoche. He is candid about tulkus. They are susceptible to temptation and delusion as well. But they have an advantage.
"We're trained from a very early age to do the best we can to help others break through whatever ideas they learn and lead them to discover the spark with which they are born. We're trained to love every living creature until he or she can love themselves. Until every person on earth ceases to view one another as a threat or an enemy; until every person, in every job, every relationship, every encounter, can see the wonder, the beauty, and the potential in everyone with whom they come in contact. Until we show people how to let go of their stores, then fill within themselves the sense of disconnectedness, our job is not done."
That's plenty to want right there.
More important than grit, gratitude helps us to avoid temptation. It's easier to say no when you feel full.
I decided yesterday to make gratitude my word of the year. It's tough because my monkey mind prefers to believe that the only way I can have love, respect and connection is if I have those things that will make people love me. I can only have them if I want them, and if I stop wanting, where will my drive come from?
Well it could come from motivation, and it could come commitment.
Today I read these wonderful words from Tsoknyi Rinpoche. He is candid about tulkus. They are susceptible to temptation and delusion as well. But they have an advantage.
"We're trained from a very early age to do the best we can to help others break through whatever ideas they learn and lead them to discover the spark with which they are born. We're trained to love every living creature until he or she can love themselves. Until every person on earth ceases to view one another as a threat or an enemy; until every person, in every job, every relationship, every encounter, can see the wonder, the beauty, and the potential in everyone with whom they come in contact. Until we show people how to let go of their stores, then fill within themselves the sense of disconnectedness, our job is not done."
That's plenty to want right there.
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