1. The most difficult emotions contain the seed of deep compassion. I discovered this in a self-directed retreat, and later in retreat with Mingyur Rinpoche. In fact, if I really have the courage to sit with self hatred, it starts to move around become three dimensional, reflect the space around and inevitably becomes joy. Joy on tap.
We are of the universe and the universe is always well, even if every part of it is dying.
2. Emotional understanding requires repetition, says Tsoknyi Rinpoche
...repeating a teaching is not just for your conceptual mind. Once your conceptual mind understands, you think you understand. But that kind of understanding is not enough because repetition is for your mind's emotional understanding.
3. If emotions are predictions as Lisa Feldman Barrett convingly theorizes, then joy is the prediction of wellness. Both relative and absolute.
4. By this logic equanimity is the prediction of balance.
5. Intentions are more stable than emotions. This helped me through the worst days of my father's death.
6. I was struck by the idea that gratitude is the cause of happiness not the effect. Feeling grateful for what is going to happen is a prediction feeling that is tied to intention.
7. I developed new words to describe my feelings: incrementum, the feeling of maintaining a small change that will in time create well being. Remomentum, restarting a habit that will restore well being. Being aware of these feelings is driving in second gear. Noticing they have become automatic is third gear.
8. I had some peak meditation experience from fasting. It's possible that skillful fasting can contribute to longevity.
9. Reading the last chapter of the Way of the Bodhisattva to my father before he died has created a bond with that text that will last for the rest of my life.
As long as space endures, and being are to be found, may I remain to drive away the sorrows of the world
10. Confusion is responsible for my mistakes not "me."
