It is a strange dawn today. The sky is blue but it is extremely windy. A strong, quite warm wind considering the time of year.
Ben woke up early too. His coughing and loud page turning and then insistence on wanting to talk about the things he was reading was pretty distracting. But we did spend a bit of time talking about dawn, the illusion that the sun rises, the immensity of the universe. And God, if God exists, how big that love would be.
If God exists. Do I have doubts? No, not since my concept of God has shifted to this power.
This power I feel now in my lower belly. It's hard to make the shift. Hard because I keep wanting to make it "permanent." Instead of having a goal of focusing on it in the present moment. But I feel the loss of energy in my brain. It feels weird not being as active up there.
But it's where I'm thinking from for now.
