Everytime I come back to this I remember that I've done it before. I remember because I remember the stillness. And I remember what it feels like the rest of the day to have that stillness to go back to.
It's hard for me to maintain this stillness right now. My mind drifts off constantly to my financial anxieties, my future plans, my desires, whatever i happen to be writing on. I'm afraid and in the stillness there isn't much of an escape. But I hope that means that when it's time for me to sit down and make plans I will sit down and make a plan.
But at the very least the stillness I am with in the morning changes my day. Makes me a little more focused, makes me a little more aware of when my thoughts or actions are drifting off beyond the control of that part of my mind that would be better off in control.
That part of my mind, I guess is my primary process. I was reading about this yesterday. My primary process is the Freudian process of concrete thinking. Abstract is secondary. I know that I spend most of my time in abstract. I want to find a balance between the two.
