It says in The Way of Power that creativity is the expression of your natural energy. For me it's an expression of my connection with the universal energy. I don't particularly like that description. It makes me feel all new agey, utopian, flakey. But I don't have words for it right now. I don't know why it's so important for me to find my own word for it, but it is. Consciousness will do for now. Creativity is the expression of my consciousness and I now that I believe in consciousness driven creativity.
Today is a day that is inching closer to the shortest day of the year. Dawn is late. Instead of turning on the light in the morning, this morning I sat in semi darkness until Ben woke up at around 7:20. There was no pink window. It had snowed last night and it was simply grey. This is why we celebrate Christmas I guess, because there is so little light.
I would rather sleep than celebrate. Man I could use a good sleep. Ben and I are developing a habit of watching the news until we fall asleep. Not healthy I'm sure. But at least it gets us into bed.
I would love to go to bed earlier. Have a really long and deep sleep and clean out all the sleep debt.
I wonder if this is the secret to cleaning out my financial debt. Getting rid of my sleep debt. If I slept that off, I would have enough energy to resist temptation, to make better financial decisions, to eat better and have more energy and willingness to work. I would be more useful, and healthy and all the things I want right now.
So what stops me. Habit. Bad habit. But more importantly absence of good habit. Absence of being in touch in the evening with my deepest desires. My desire for authentic happiness. I am not cultivating habits that put me in touch with that.
I need some sacred evening rituals. As permanent and ingrained in me as this habit of getting up in the morning.
Then I will have the energy and then the creativity and power that I want. That God wants me to have.
The Way. I still like The Way as an expression of this energy.
