I read yesterday that day four is usually the "hump" day in a cleanse. If you get past this day, then the rest is easier.
It was the most difficult day. I felt back pain, bloated, blocked up. Almost flu-ish. This morning I'm tired and I still have a backache and I feel like I'm still waiting for the sludge to clear. But I definitely feel more energy and a more solid sense of what I need to do to keep this cleanse going. Eat smaller portions of beans, for one thing! Maybe keep them to one meal.
Last night I felt some cravings. I felt that sense of emptiness and disconnection that continues to haunt me, even after all these years. I couldn't eat, so I stood. Obviously I felt much, much better from standing than I've ever felt from parking myself with some food in front of a video.
This morning it was so clear to me how I have literally been feeding my suffering. Whenever my suffering calls out I give it a snack. No wonder it's so big and powerful.
If I could reprogram this loop so that my suffering is greeted with natural opiates instead of food and distraction, then logically is should just gradually diminish on its own without me trying to work so hard trying to diminish it.
Let's see.
