This morning I felt the fear at the core of my ego. I've been struggling with feeling alienated from the people I work with, and I wanted to solve it by going to an event where I'm not sure I'm needed or wanted.
Instead I sat with my terror of being excluded. I could feel it, deep in my gut, near my spine. It was solid like a post. Then it transmuted. Suddenly I was bolstered by a strong feeling of vitality and ease. Both a lightness, and a feeling of power.
I could go to the event, I could not go to the event. I chose not. I chose to stay home with whatever suffering happens today.
Liberated by my most destructive habits, video streaming, crappy food, I have no choice but to face these feelings. And I have not choice but to get better.
