I know I think too much of joy as something that I can attain, as something that I will eventually attain through standing, or whatever new skill my promiscuous, curious mind happens to settle on.
Standing has taught me that joy is accessible now, that it's in me and all around me. That I can have it whenever I want.
So simple. So easy to forget because of all the programming. All the code that says that enough food is not enough. Enough shelter is not enough. Enough time will never be enough. Enough joy will never be enough. And so as soon as I feel this innate joy I start running away. It's like there's an instruction in me that says joy is an obstacle not a beginning or end point.
That's why I decided recently to make this blog, this adventure, my browser home page.
It's a scary feeling, not starting the day with someone else's instructions, someone else's priorities. Where's my newspaper? Where's my water cooler talk? Where's my water cooler. It's just me here on this page. What's going to happen if it's just me? Who will tell me what to do?
