Still wrestling with the shenpa. I'm pretty good at the first two steps, recognizing I'm hooked and feeling the negative energy. Don't seem to be as good at the third step, moving on.
But isn't this the story of my life. I'm good with beginnings not so good with endings.
I realized something this morning while standing. My original vision when I started this standing was to stand and see how much it affected the rest of my life. More and more all I want is just a better, deeper, more satisfying standing practice. The rest of my life is just the rest of my life. This is and should pretty much just be about standing, cultivating that energy that allows me to stand for an hour in the morning, and allows me to continue with the habit of standing first thing in the morning. I do that because I believe that this energy is an endless supply of peace and happiness for me.
If the only thing that changes after six months is that I've cultivated an early morning practice that I will return to again and again. Then that is all the change I need.
