This morning there was no warm window filled with dawn. Just a grey fog, which turned out actually to be an early morning frost. It's gone now. But I did take it as a sign.
I am in a fog these days. I get up like I've planned, but it is no longer a really energizing meditation. It's all I can do to just stand in one place for an hour. Which as I write that is still probably more than most people would be willing to do.
Willingness. That word pops out at me. I have a willingness right now to get up early. But not as much of a willingness to do the other things I could be doing. Standing in a challenging posture. Even putting in the time I need to put in to clean the house.
I need a guide, so for the time being I'm working on my muse. On what I believe the muse is, and in actually cultivating a relationship with this muse. Maybe I need to research that a bit. Maybe I need to really commit to that subject for some substantial time. Because without some kind of guide, inner or outer, I feel a little lost.
