Last week my answer to that what do I want more than anything in the world was power. And yes, it's still power. But also, I want joy.
Joy's a little trickier though. Because joy is not a think you can have all the time, I think. And neither is power really. There is no power if you don't constantly confront your weaknesses. There is no joy if you can't feel sadness, anger, despair, and its impermanence.
What was it Tim Olmsted taught me back in the Joy of Living 3 course. It was to feel the impermance within our painful emotions.
Last week the focus of my meditation practice was impermanence of the body. I logged a lot of minutes feeling the fact that this body, the health embodied in this body would not always be around. My parents bodies are not permanent either. Nothing is permanent and it hurts.
But the hurt isn't permanent.
Joy isn't a thing you can want and have. It's an energy you feel when you realize that nothing you want is anything permanent that you can have. What a waste of energy wanting can be it seems, since whatever you acquire will inevitably dissolve.
But should we forsake joy because it will not always be ours?
Joy is fleeting, but at the same time inexhaustible. We can drink from it again and again and again.
That is the true root of power.
