I've made the switch.
This month I prepare for level three of Tergar's Joy of Living program. As part of the preparation we do an insight meditation called The Mirror meditation. After preliminary relaxing of the mind, we "see" everything in the visual field as though it we were looking into a mirror, as though everything that seems solid is really just a reflection.
The more I practice this perceptual mode, of looking at the world as though it were not as solid and real as it seems, the more I start to feel, at an experiential level, how transient my suffering is. It feels as solid as a chair, a building, a city. But really it's not.
In ordinary awareness, and often in meditative awareness, I conceive of life as heavy, overwhelming suffering with transient moments of happiness and lucidity. That is the narrative my brain spins without any direction. That unfortunately has been, as it is for many people, my default mode.
But this week I am reversing this. This energy, this vitality, this state of being, this happiness, this warmth, this effervescence in my soul, this is the solid ground. The boredom, the anxiety, the lethargy, the despair, these are what come and go.
What is keeping that suffering rooted is my subconscious belief that the suffering is immutable, inevitable.
My intention this week is to catch this belief in action. Gently correct it and then get back to the default mode that I want to have. The default mode I know have.
Joy.
