As my energy sinks farther into my core, I am forming some different ideas about faith. I used to think of faith as more of a thought form. Something you believed, in your head, and you stuck to out as a matter of committed principle. More and more these days faith feels like an energy in my body, like a power. People who have faith, in a path, in themselves, in the society around them, have a kind of psychic energy. We respond to that energy because we want that faith. We need that faith.
Over the years I've cultivated faith in this meditative practice. I seem to learn slowly, but how else can you learn faith? You can embrace it as a hypothesis, but deeply rooted faith only develops once it has been tested again and again. Cultivating energy in my core has paid off for me again and again. Resting in my faith feels natural, if I let myself do that.
But I still struggle with my undermining doubts. Recently I've started using a technique recommended by Martha Beck. Sit with that doubt and feel it as false. Then sit with the faith and feel it as true.
In meditation this morning I let that true feeling sink into my gut. I can root that feeling and make it such a core part of me that I will have to devote less and less energy into believing in myself. That belief will be locked in. And as I use it to nurture belief in others, it will only grow.
