The last few days I've been trying to build confidence by reviewing my small accomplishments throughout the day.
One of the challenges of getting through mid life is that much of what I accomplish is routinized. Because it's daily one has the illusion that nothing is being accomplished. In fact it's the small actions taken consistently over time that are the accomplishments. These are the things that are going to tide us through. My morning routines. My flylady routines. Whether I do them or not, they are there, and that in itself is an accomplishment. My habit of making bread, rice, beans, yogourt. These keep my overhead low, keep me healthy, keep us eating wholesome food.
I don't need new things all the time. Because if I maintain these energy and vitality building routines, new things will happen. Change is inevitable. The expectation that life will be dull, and uneventful if we keep to routines is almost always a false one. Things always happen. New things will always be learnt.
My challenge now is not to find new things, but to see the old things in a new way.
For example, this morning I was standing, thinking oh yes, another standing routine, not much here. But there was so much. There was the energy that was building, there was a memory that snaked up that made me angry, and that I tamed easily, because my habit when I stand is to maintain not just physical, but emotional balance.
Standing is one of my greatest accomplishments, as is writing, and my guess is that coding will be too. Running, wholesome frugal cooking, maybe teaching. All these things together are the little accomplishments that will lead to other accomplishments. Maybe great ones. Maybe small ones. Who knows. And for the moment, I'm not sure I really care.
