My running has been falling off track of late. This has much to do with temperature change. I hate running in summer heat. But also, I suspect, because I'm not clear on what my motivation is. That always becomes more or problem once I've lost a bit of weight. Suddenly the point of getting out there and feeling the aches and pains that I don't want to feel start looking very fuzzy.
If the goal of running isn't weight loss, then what is it? Today the only thing that got me through the 2 hr and 20 minute commitment I made was to feel that stream of resilience that starts to grow after I've been running for about twenty minutes. Maintain this stream of energy, which feels like a real magnetic pull, is a fun goal because it makes running easier not harder. The stream lifts me up and propels me forward. Much like it does in meditation. If I can cultivate the habit of relaxing into it while I'm running, everything will get much easier.
Or at least that's the theory. For this to work the stream needs to have its own momentum, because if it relies on me I'm not sure there's much hope for it.
One thing that worked today was to notice those things that took me away from the stream, the usual obsession, stories, problems I carry with me always while I run. Instead of trying to escape them I decided to investigate them, their power, and self-perpetuating energy. Lo, this is often the shortest path back to that clear, pure energy that makes my running a joy, or at least, a mildly pleasant experience.
