So I'm nearing the six month mark of my project. I'm not exactly the massive energy magnet that I envisioned. I'm not richer, or demonstrably more successful when I was when I started out.
But I've changed in a fundamental way, I think.
I've changed by re-framing my desire to change. I don't meditate anymore to change, I meditate to be conscious and aware that the life I have and the being that I am is sufficient. Paradoxically, being aware of my sufficiency seems to make that energy grow more quickly and more strongly than if I'm conscious of what I lack and try to get "more."
This doesn't mean that I've given up action. But my action is motivated by wanting to change the world so that it will allow people to be what they are, and be more accepting. I'll have to think about that a little more. But my philosophy, my vision of life is changing.
My dream is changing.
