I'm reading the Dalai Lama's book on Enlightenment. And coming aware of the importance of meditating on this illusion of separateness from the world. Dependence arising he calls it.
Here's what's happening in my Zhan Zhuan practice. I wait now until I connect with a voice that is mine, and not quite mine. A voice that comes from the center of my brain. It is authoritive, it tells me what to do. It tells me that I have to wait patiently and allow my body to disove into the energy that surrounds me. That the pain in my body is mostly my anxiety that the universe isn't supporting me. But once I realize that this is an illusion that thre is this magnetic energy surrounding me and supporting me, I can relax and the energy starts to flow in me.
At this point I have a concrete feeling of my connection with this universal energy. I realize, or I feel that it is true, that my body itself is just something I, as this energy, am inhabiting. I am the energy that surrounds me. I always have been and I always will be.
This could be just a "trick" of my parietal lobe shutting down because I'm in stillness. But intellectually there is some truth to the interconnectedness of things. And it is a wonderfully liberating feeling to feel part of the world, or an energy greater than your one little body.
My goal these days is to meditate four times a day. At dawn, in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening. I want to re connect with this feeling four times a day. And I can. I know I can, it's not just a "lucky" feeling anymore. I can connect with this voice now regularly, it's just a matter of waiting until that part of my brain opens up. I can teach myself now.
