Revulsion is the foot of meditation...
Whatever I call it, revulsion, disenchantment, renunciation, this is the first stage of Tantra. You cannot take refuge if you don't know what you're taking refuge from. You cannot visualize enlightenment if you are not clear on what heavy psychic conditioning you are hoping to liberate yourself and all beings from.
If you are not generous with yourself, you cannot give yourself permission to let it all go and to transform.
It hit me today what generosity means for a Bodhisattva. I'm giving up, by ordinary standards, what it takes to be successful. I'm giving up the centrality of "wordly pursuits." I'm giving up prioritizing them, which risk may giving up on having them.
I do this to achieve buddhahood with no guarantee that I will, and no guarantee that anyone will care if I do.
But I persevere because I know I'm so close. I can feel my subtle body purifying. I can feel the energy balancing. I can feel the bodhichitta growing stronger every day.
In Fearless Simplicity, Tsokny Rinpoche says to start with shamata. We start by developing ease, delight, joy. And then we have something to give. Compassion arises naturally when we want others to have what we have.
We want them to know that all is impermanent, but not nothing. And we want them to know that they know this.
He likens bodhichitta to the salad dressing. Without it merit is dry and dull.
Let it all go, the default network. Just let it go.
I'm feeling really excited about starting Tantra.
