Faith is power.
Without it there is no freedom, just constant grasping for the ground, a feeling of never finding a balance in life. Faith is knowing that there's a centre to be found even in the tiniest of footholds.
I have been so fortunate to have found these footholds along a very emotionally unstable life. From the first yoga book my mother abandoned in which I discovered for the first time the practice of sitting still. Through my four minute tai chi routine from a woman's magazine. Gradually I have become aware of this solid, abiding awareness. This self.
I have many unhappy memories, but through that always this place of true refuge. This freedom. During the worst of times, and when I needed it the most, the best of times. Today in morning meditation I began to see it, the continuity. When I looked at my life, for a moment I didn't see the long history of disappointments and heartbreak. I saw the long history of this lovely, strong, loving self that I've always been able to depend on.
It's still a challenge, but the challenge is what keeps me strong. The challenge is not whether I can keep this up all my life. That I know with more certainty every year. It's whether I can keep it up today.
Can I know myself today.
