Sunday, February 2, 2020

New trauma

A few days ago my mother fractured her hip.  This is going to put some old traumas back into play.  She's in the hospital and I don't know what the next three months hold for her, or the next year. A good percentage of seniors never recover from this.  My father, who has been struggling with depression for the last few years is in deep distress.

Widening my window of stress around this might be a way of repairing old wounds, and going though some psychic rehabilitation myself. I feel the stress manifesting as cravings and a desire to escape into Netflix. I hope I spend that time instead developing a stronger sense of the preciousness of this life, and this awareness that we all have access to.

What would this rehabilitation look like? Maybe it is me make the intention to follow that bardo course.  To begin to prepare for my parents' death and to help them to prepare for death.  Hospitals are a profound place of disillusionment  and reminder of our transience.

May I be compassionate towards my parents. May they both live as long as they need to. May they both connect with the awareness that is their birthright.