In Tibetan Buddhism loving kindness is one of the four immeasurables. It is a quality associated with happiness and in cultivating it one prays for happiness and the source of happiness. But it is a quality that is in us, whether we realize it or not, so what we're really praying for is the constant awareness of the lovingkindness that lives in each of our hearts. From that seed of awareness it can be cultivated beyond any measurement.
The traditional loving kindness prayer is something of a sleight of mind, because happiness is there, always. Even our awareness of this desire for happiness is always there. What we often lack is the awareness of this awareness. To be happy in a sustainable way, first you need to know that you want to be happy. A surprising number of people don't know they have this unconscious longing, or won't admit to having it. Their lives, they say to themselves and others, are about more important things than happiness. Or they know they want happiness, but they confuse happiness with the object of happiness. They fall into the delusion that their happiness is dependent on the having a loved one, or the making that loved one happy. This is why we say that attachment is the "near enemy" of loving kindness. Why family relationships are such a tangle, because we can't separate the healthy longing to understand ourselves better, and the unhealthy longing to have and control others.
It's the ability to remain curious and rest in the longing for happiness that is the one most significant cause of happiness. Rest in that and happiness quite simply is.
And soon, within moments really your prayers are answered because happiness is familiarity with the healthy desire for happiness. We have what we're asking for all along.
