Tibetan Buddhism believes that the main cause of suffering is "grasping." It's a word that brings up a lot of associations, desire, tension, desperation. As I become more senstive to the inner workings of my mind and my body, I notice more the subtle pervasive grasping in my body, and part of my brain that feel like white knuckle. This feeling of deep and ingrained tension has become over the course of my life a normal way of being.
Last week the solution to this problem seemed so simple. Lock in to those parts of my brain that bring relaxation, the pitutary gland that may be the "third eye," that place in my heart that wants freedom from suffering that may be the pump to a well of oxitocin, the place in my gut that keeps the serotonin dripping.
But this morning I began to feel in my meditation that this might just be another form of grasping. If I were going to put this in the language of programming, there needs to be a base case. We can't just live in an infinte loop of feel good. Can we? And would we want to, if we could. Isn't that just the other side of the suffering habit. It's just habit.
it's so important to develop the skill of unlocking. Of just being with whatever shows up, the joy, the peace, the suffering, the tension. The fear of the worst that may or may not happen.
So this week, as I continue to practice compassion for a loved one, I will also practice unlocking everything, along with my heart.
