This morning I started my practice feeling confused, hungover, angry after a very painful and infuriating conversation with my mother last night.
There was little I could bring myself to do but sit in this pole of energy. I had no will left, really.
Yet by the end of this meditation that passed quickly, almost effortlessly, there was a pervasive state of clarity in my body, in the room around my body. Just clear, empty, lucid peace.
I saw that my mother just wants to be happy, and I saw how sad her confusion really was. And I saw how fortunate I am to have this energy in my life. This awareness of awareness.
This awareness that awareness is always aware of awareness. Like breathing.
As I focus on that, I kind of feel that pineal gland, or whatever it is that allows us to feel this pervasive, pure awareness.
I am running more. My home is clean. I am conscious of my desire for happiness, and for the effort that brings about happiness.
I feel closer to that place of liberation. I feel solid in this place of refuge.
