I bought Ben an alarm clock yesterday. I've decided to extend my morning meditation practice to an hour. Part of my mission.
I did this a few years back. Standing first thing in the morning for an hour. Today maybe I'll take a look at my journals from that time. Back then I wanted to see what would happen. Now I know what will happen. My concentration, optimism, and self-esteem will increase. I'll have a more fully developed ability to bring joy into my life and into the lives of others. As far as I'm concerned, this is science.
There's an energy I feel, as one writer I've been reading recently puts it, this is a "thinking substance." I rest in this energy and I feel this clarity and lucidity that I know is a permanent quality in my life.
Unfortunately I still struggle with a lot of feeling that feel permanent when I'm feeling them, doubt, self-hatred, resentment, despair. But I know that feeling of permanence is a delusion. I don't try and fight these feelings, but I do try to become more conscious of their impermance.
The feeling that comes back to me again and again, which I consider one of the "technology" feelings like compassion, is gratitude. Like loving kindness, these are feelings that have the power to iterate positive liberating feelings in the brain. Gratitude is like a recursive feeling. It reinforces the good in life, which in turn reinforces other goods, and before you know you're seeing patterns of good in the world. Before you know it, you have a solid foundation for abundance.
As always, it's important to rest and allow feeling like gratitude and compassion some assimilation time. Walking through life, blissed out and silly, isn't practical and will eventually lead to a reaction. So small sips of joy, and gratitude, and hope are fine for now.
