So, a break from my commitment.
Cousin's elopement celebration last night. I drank, I ate a midnight souvlaki, I didn't bother to set the alarm. I feel pretty crappy. At least I don't have to spend the day preparing for the exterminator.
I guess I still have some bad habits.
Yesterday evening before I set out I was feeling a massive level of lethargy. I didn't want to go. The voice in my head kept telling me how depressed I was. And then I decided to change things. I'm not depressed I said. I'm blocked. I did some standing meditation and felt immediately better.
I'm going to try this for a while. Instead of identifying with the bad feeling that seems to be permanent. I'm going to see it as a mere blockage that in time I can dislodge.
Right now for instance I feel terrible. But I'm going to just stand for 20 minutes and see where that takes me.
