An Adventure in Running Still

In my running I'm trying to focus more on accessing that ease that comes usually around the 3K mark.  The tendons and muscles loosen, my belly fills with oxygen, and that pole of energy keeps me in an effortless symbiosis with gravity propelling me forward.

I've also been using some slightly fluffy hypnosis tapes to imagine myself running freely with my pack of animals: horses, dogs, antelope. We're all galloping along in our prime.

The greatest challenge to this is shifting myself out of the obsessive, bickery mode I'm currently in because I have more work than usual and am feeling unusually stressed and overwhelmed.  If I could see more clearly how anger cuts me off from my smarter more competent self, shifting out of this would probably be more intuitive.

And then my running would become simply a deeper more energizing meditation.  Almost as through I were standing still, while moving.

Cortisol

I'm having a harder time than usual keeping awareness stable.

A lot of cortisol flowing through my brain because of an Op-Ed that's been percolating.  Having a hard time even writing this because my mind is flying all over the place.

I remember Rinpoche's tips for dealing with overwhelming emotions.  Going back to basics. Still meditations like open awareness, or still objects.

Or even just take a break.

I'm thinking I may be a little more prone to this because I've let my running practice go of late.  So I'm going to lace up and get out there today.

We are born to run. I do believe that.

Time to download that 21K app and get out there.

Nurturing Power

Yesterday I completed my second 10K race.  Big difference between this year and last year.  I felt good, I felt strong, mentally and physically.  I ran that race with ease and joy.  I ran that race with power.

Last year, I just ran/walked the race.  I had a good time.  I had a great moment.  But this year was a good moment from beginning to end. So, I've decided to sign up for the half marathon.  I think I'll sign Ben up too. A real adventure for both of us.

What can I do to maintain this power and nurture it so that we can share this great moment next year? Well first I can realize how much I want power.  What do I want more than anything else in the world?  I ask myself this question constantly throughout the day, and I feel like I will never stop asking it until I have the right answer.

The answer is power.  But not in the way that it is usually defined in my society.  When I mean power, I mean this moving energy that keeps me running with ease.  This mixture of body memory and thriving energy. The ability to make myself and help others to be really, truly happy.

This is what I want more than anything in the world.  Real power.  And this is what I want to nurture in myself and in Ben.

After the race I downloaded an app to help me with my training.  It suggested I choose an activity to cross train with.  I decided to make this an opportunity to renew my Zhan Zhuang practice.  I still meditate, but it's been a while since I stood. Really stood.  I'd like to bring standing back into my life and into my running practice.  So at least twice a week I'm going to stand for 40 minutes.  I may stand for shorter times on a daily basis.  Maybe get back to standing as part of my meditation practice.  But it's all about nurturing power.

I forget this again and again and again.  But there's only one way to remember it.  By being powerful. And then power becomes its own habit.