Body Appreciation

 I did this guided meditation today and ended crying like a baby, feeling so vicerally how little appreciation I have felt towards my body for so long. 

It's part of a trauma sensitive approach to mindfulness that I want to bring into my teaching practice

body awareness

Today I'm struggling with frustration, anger, disappointment with someone close to me.  Someone who seems to have lost the will to take care of his body and mind.

It's a challenge to meditate because I haven't slept well.  This week in JOYL1 we are focussing on the body, feeling present, noticing sensations, and as we always do, alternating with objectless meditation.  For most of it, I was in the raw, rigid anger and despair I feel, and being with the belief that my happiness is dependent on whether or not he is happy.

And then for a moment, I was able to pull back and really feel as close to pure awareness. That silky, calm joy.  I felt for a moment that I could be happy even when I was unhappy.  I can be sad that he is making poor choices, but I can know that at the core of my being is a happiness that can not be wrecked by anything or anyone.

The closer I am to that realization, the closer I am to the insight that happiness is and will always be available to him too. The best I may be able to do is hope that he is able to find it. 

Interdependence of Body

This week I've been investigating the various ways that my happiness, productivity, sense of self and sense of time is dependent on my body.
  The insight I come to again and again is how when my attention is brought down to my gut brain I immediately feel more present. In general being conscious of the body brings us immediately into the present moment. To be caught up in the tangled relationship between the present and future inevitably means a disconnect from the mind and the body.  And a disconnect from the mind and the body sends us evermore spinning into the invented world.
  As a result of this investigation I've been paying more attention to the seven points of meditation posture: The anchor, my hands, my spine, my shoulders, my neck, my mouth, and my eyes. Attention to all of these points grounds me and grounds my mind. Paying attention to the eyes has been an especially important investigation this week. I have developed the tendency of closing my eyes in meditation, which is pleasant, but it does allow me more room to get lost.  I'f I'm really committed to the present, I need to keep my eyes open.
  It all comes down to that, doesn't it? Commitment. Developing habits not because you feel like it, but because you've made a decision to become stronger, wiser, happier and you do what has to be done to re-direct your energy. The challenge lies in redirecting the energy incrementally so that you don't throw the whole system off balance.
  That means working as much on accepting your body and mind as you do trying to change it.