I'm having some wonderful meditations lately because I've detached from the idea of having to identify with this vast state of mind that is too big to conceptualize, awareness. It is a state of being that pre-dates my birth and will continue on without me. Realizing this I feel less of a need to identify with a "self," with my body, with whatever idea people have of me.
If I want others to share in this peace, and joy, that I'm increasingly sure I can cultivate, I need to be able to tell a story about giving up stories. I need to tell the story of how I found happiness. How I got out of prison. But first I actually have to get out of prison. Get off the story telling wheel. Make this state a trait.
Or at least that is the story.
What if I don't. What if I can start now, as though the only thing that matters is knowing that this state exists, and that I can access it. What if I don't worry about embodying it?
That was my insight at my last Vipassana, the suffering caused by the narrator, but to get people there I have to be a narrator.
Maybe it's a question of how we use narration as a tool, not a master.
