One of the themes of this journal since the beginning has been growth and recovery from trauma. I go back again and again to the idea of traumatic sprouts, re-growth that is at high risk of early death because of a major trauma that cut off the mature and healthy boughs.
I've been reading a book this week about using mediation for trauma recovery. The author sees the danger in two systems, the thinking brain and the survival brain being out of balance. She pointed to gratitude as too often being a positive thinking scheme by the thinking brain used to control the intensity of the survival brain.
Re-reading my post last week on creating a "gratitude algorithm," I realize I might have been in danger of one of those poor thinking brain band aid solutions. A better solution might be using the algorithm of the precious refuge. The three gems, buddah, dhamma and sangha. In contemplating how precious these places of safety are, gratitude arises naturally from the survival brain and growth comes from a deeper place.
I had a chance to put this into practice this weekend. I had another one of my work spats that set in motion the intense ball of insecurity, anxiety and shame that gets released every time I get into any kind of work conflict.
Trying to do a lot of breath watching to bring back that sense of how precious refuge in the dhamma is.
