This afternoon I head to a retreat that centers on the theme of grasping.
Grasping in Tibetan budhism is the cause of suffering. Grasping means our tendency to see things as existing. I'm still not entirely confident that I understand what that means. But for now I understand it better on a physical level. I feel a grasping tension throughout my body and my brain. The process of unlocking that I began last week is a way of letting go of this belief that keeps locking me back into suffering.
This morning, for a short time I returned to The Mirror exercise. I look at the objects in front of me and see them as simply reflections in a mirror. As I do this, I inevitably feel the tension in my brain begin to relax. Soon I begin to see and feel my body as merely a reflection of my feelings. If the tension were to completely disappear would "I" disappear? Letting go of these beliefs is a very de-stabilizing process. It's one thing to understand them conceptually. It's another to feel those beliefs in your psyche. And quite another to let them go. Beliefs are the skeleton of the soul. You don't just throw them out and expect to be able to walk. To some extent, I expect, you learn to live with them, but see them as just bones, not that which actually makes us alive.
