The first step towards real abundance in my life is transforming a lifetime of poor sleeping habits and poor evening rituals.
Falling asleep and keeping to an early bedtime has always been a struggle for me, going back to a painful childhood. Evenings were when the fights broke out, the tears began, the deep, deep sadnesses and truths of my parents unhappy marriage emerged. I am, frankly, afraid of bedtime. It's nothing but painful memories and the consequences of those painful memories.
But my life, and Ben's life, and the rest of my life, depends on changing this. I really believe that transforming my sleeping habits is the single most important thing I can do to achieve lasting and stable happiness.
I need to be gentle with myself, though, because this is going to be hard. Or maybe I don't want to discourage myself with the word hard. This is going to be challenging.
My plan for the next six months is to revisit my JOL 1 course. Do very simple, basic, meditations every evening to calm my mind. Make that commitment every evening for 20 minutes. Then maybe the decision to forego television will be easier.
Recognizing the deep calm that is available to me every evening may help me to let go of the stressful patterns that have driven me for too much of my life.
