In Eckhart Tolle's vision of a New Earth, enjoyment replaces wanting as the driving force. I want to be a part of that new world, so I'm trying these days to focus on what I enjoy, and to allow that to be the thing that organizes my decisions.
I enjoy the same things most people do, interesting experiences, conversations, travel, delicious food. But if I had to answer the question what I enjoy more than anything, it really is the feeling I get when I'm meditating. Feeling that vitality in my gut, the warmth at the back of my neck and down my spine, that gravitational beam when I assume a natural posture that connects me with the universal force. Without that, all that I enjoy is merely craving and escape.
If I'm going to move forward in life, I have to give myself permission to enjoy this state of being as often and as fully as I want.
The crazy thing is that I often don't want it. I often don't want to do this thing that I truly enjoy.
Maybe that's because I'm still in the state of wanting. I keep thinking about all the things I don't have and want. To be a successful writer able to make a comfortable income. To be an influential teacher, able to inspire people towards a better way of living. To be a better parent, able to raise a son who will want to contribute something to the world.
I won't be able to do any of that if I can't enjoy life. If I can't enjoy the feeling of being alive.
To be motivated by enjoyment rather than want is a decision. It's not a hedonistic decision, because I'm not being motivated by pleasure. I'm being motivated by the joy that arises from being at peace in the world. And there's a lot of pain to be faced and worked through to get to that enjoyment.
But I'm going to do it. The decision has been made.
