Okay, so I'm back to the "something in me" theory. There is something in me that seems to feeding on my stress. For lack of a better word, I guess I'm going to call it my pain body.
There's a very sharp and primal anxiety right now that is struggling for control. I'm going to win. The question is how to transmute this energy as quickly and efficiently as I need to.
If I look at this problem like a coder, what is the smallest, repeatable action that I need to replicate and automatize, so that I can unblock this anxiety and move forward.
Well, the smallest action is always awareness. I would need to assign painBody to a variable. Then make painBody an new object. Then I would need to de-increment it. I could use my biofeedback machine to track my anxiety and bring it down. That way the anxiety becomes a cue for relaxation.
Then what I want to do is to increase my vitality and energy, so that I can keep my focus on the actions needed to improve our financial situation.
What about one of the power exercises? Maybe I need to do something more difficult for a bit. Increase my metal energy. That ties in well with the biofeedback machine.
I did a Tarot reading the other day, and I there were a lot of swords. I think it's time to start thinking and like a warrior.
