It's snowing. A very late Indian summer is officially over. Hanging out with my three willows, feeling the abundance of stillness, I suddenly felt the stab of guilt. Of course I should be working. I have debt to deal with. Private school fees to save for. All that.
But then I felt that sense of paradox that I so often do when I'm standing. Things were so good this morning in our home. Peaceful, playful, everything moving smoothly towards Ben getting off to school. I could feel the consequences of regularly tending to my peace of mind. So it hit me in the park. However rushed, however stressed I am--this is my job. It is my job to plant this field of peace at the beginning of my day. It is my job to nurture the inevitable creativity and physical, mental and spiritual energy this time supplies me with. It's my job to cultivate this and to pass on the skills of this cultivation to my son and to my readers. This is my job and I have deep faith in its rewards and its renumerations.
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Distracted
A job opportunity has come up. Something I think I would be good at, but I'm not sure would be good for me. Or that doesn't quite fit in to the plan I had for myself.
It was a situation similar to this that seriously de-railed me last time I got serious about Chi Kung. I found myself obsessing about that job, which would bring me more money and more stuff. I didn't apply for it in the end. Possibly the right decision, but I never quite got back on track again.
I'm trying to stay centered as I consider this one. One I'm probably better suited for, but still, one that would derail other writing plans I have. And one that would suck me full in to the written dialogue of our culture, its obsession, which are not always healthy.
Just thinking about it de-rails me, I know.
So it sounds like I shouldn't apply or it. Or that at the very least I shouldn't let it distract me from the things I really need to do today.
I want to stay committed to my vision.
Maybe I need to ask that Jon Kabat Zinn question a few times of the universe today. What is my job?
It was a situation similar to this that seriously de-railed me last time I got serious about Chi Kung. I found myself obsessing about that job, which would bring me more money and more stuff. I didn't apply for it in the end. Possibly the right decision, but I never quite got back on track again.
I'm trying to stay centered as I consider this one. One I'm probably better suited for, but still, one that would derail other writing plans I have. And one that would suck me full in to the written dialogue of our culture, its obsession, which are not always healthy.
Just thinking about it de-rails me, I know.
So it sounds like I shouldn't apply or it. Or that at the very least I shouldn't let it distract me from the things I really need to do today.
I want to stay committed to my vision.
Maybe I need to ask that Jon Kabat Zinn question a few times of the universe today. What is my job?
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