It's been three months since I posted on this blog.
What happened?
Well I started an essay on my Vipassana retreat that I hoped to finish in a weekend, and that I'm still writing. Bliss is The New Black, frames my experience in the choice I made to binge watch the last season of Orange is The New Black, which had me taking it in on my phone up to the last minute.
I discovered on day 1 that I'd forgotten to hand in my moleskin notebook, and though I didn't write in it, I thought about writing, and I thought about narrative the whole retreat. Suffering is of course, a side effect of narrative, so there was a loopy satisfaction in considering all this.
But three months later I have a scrappy draft, but feel very far from finishing this essay, which feels more like a weight around my neck than a gift to myself or anyone else.
Begin again, in this journal, and at whatever I need to learn and let go of from this experience and this particular block.
I did, however, take this as an opportunity to re-read my blog from January:
Here's a quick list of greatest hits.
Both of my posts on one day Vipassana course
What I learned about high intensity low intensity emotions through How Emotions Are Made
My Habit House dream
In insight I had about serotonin and the right balance of hormone cocktails after reading The Obesity Code
That my struggle keeping my house clean is part of an Aversion Loop, as compared to my struggle with weight being part of a Craving Loop
