This week I have the most perfect meditation spot I may ever have in my life. Peter Pond is outside my bedroom deck, where I have a view of the sunrise over both the ocean and a placid, mirror still pond.
I need it. My family situation is as always unstable, drinking, fighting, the usual. But I've made progress since last year. The fights are more like sudden storms, than bitter weeks of winter. This may be because I've given up the evening cocktails and wine with dinner. I'm running more, eating better, physical energy translates into emotional energy. It may also be because my meditation is longer. And I suspect it's been because I've been rooting myself in compassion meditation.
What would it be like to have lived my life with no insight into my emotional suffering? Or into the suffering that I cause others? I still spend much of my life blindly chasing after distractions that I think will bring me happiness, but at best bring me temporary relief from suffering. But at least I know this. So many people go through their lives with no idea. Just following the recipe society gives them with no questions. And then at the end of their lives, they are physically and emotionally tired and confused, unable to communicate with the people whose love they desperately need. Unable to feel real compassion for themselves and others.
I don't just have this pond. I have the capacity to see the astonishing gift that this pond is. I have the ability to find joy in this pond. I have all I need to be happy, no matter whatever happens in my life. I'm good.
