I started this blog about a year ago, feeling strong. Feeling like I was hitting a whole new level of consciousness. And then....Here I am a year later. Depleted of energy, knotted with stress, twenty pounds heaver. Here I am, once again, starting from the beginning. Somehow this practice just slipped away. My dedication to the practice just disappeared, after three years of steady commitment. And my life has kind of unraveled with it.
So what happened? Work came my way, money. I don't know, I just got more and more easily distracted every day. Found it harder and harder to just plant my feet on the floor and let the energy do its thing.
I'm happy for this blog now. To be able to look back and remember how strong that force was in me a year ago and to try and find my way back. And who knows. Maybe the process of beginning again will be more helpful to people who are curious about the path and thinking about starting it, than my breathless writing about my success and my peak experiences. As I begin again I can remember what it was like slowly building that energy, and I can reflect on why I keep being drawn back to it. Failure is part of the process. How can I know what I've accomplished, until I've lost all those accomplishments.
This blog can be like that open tai chi class I return to from time to time. Instead of a linear path, this is a circular path that starts in at any point, and anyone reading this can just jump in and start the path with me.
No big drama. Just starting again.
